Summer Days

Heavy air on breezeless days
Push you into shady corners
Sweat stained ball caps
Cover red leather faces
Adonis boys display their prowess
To bikini clad Aphrodite
Blood runs hotter than the sun
When darkness hides their passion

The Drowning

How in the hell the news got to us so quickly is still a mystery. One minute, we’re in the middle of the street playing our childish games then, what seemed like only a moment later, we’re standing at the water’s edge. Red lights slashing through the early evening dusk.

We watched as Sheriff Rankin and his brother Will maneuvered their boat around the middle of the lake. Casting a snagging line out like it was just another evening of spoonbill fishing.

Everybody from town was standing around in little groups whispering to each other. Speculating on what, then how, it happened. It seemed that seventeen year old Terry Bowman had tried to swim across the lake by himself. He didn’t make it.

All us guys were standing a few yards away from the somber faces of the adults. We were jabbing each other in the ribs and joking with one another like we had just come out of the movie theatre. Even there in the face of death, our youthful immortality poked its head out. We knew one thing for certain, whatever hand fate had dealt to Terry, it had nothing to do with us.

But the moment they lifted Terry’s body from the boat and laid him gently onto the shore, his blue lips highlighted against his pasty whiteness, his eyes wide open and staring toward the night sky. His mother kneeling over his wrinkled body and crying for God to give him back. That’s when I knew death for the first time in my life. And my youthful naiveté abandoned me.

As I stared into his face, I strange curiosity overtook me. I wondered what thoughts went through Terry’s mind the moment he realized that he was never going to make it to the other side of the lake. As he looked back and saw his friends, highlighted against the setting sun, dancing, singing and making out; when did panic set in?

Was it when his arms turned to rubber and he struggled to just stay afloat that he started looking for some miracle to get him out? Or later when his first gasp for air brought him nothing but a mouth full of water? At what point did he stop fighting and just accept that death was going to take him. Or did he struggle to the very end, never giving up hope?

So as I stood there in silence, watching his mother cradle her son. Her tears dripping into his unblinking eyes and her sobs choking out any words she tried to give to him, my knees buckled and I fell to the ground. I watched her gently rock her baby in her arms and I suddenly hated God for taking him away from her.

That evening, those flashing red lights slicing into the stillness and the sobbing moans of Terry’s mom burned a memory deep into my innocents that I was sure I would never forget.

But the next morning found us all gathered at the ball park laughing and joking like any other summer day. Like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Except choosing up side was just a little harder now that Terry was gone… but hey, the game must go on.

The Town of My Youth

Wakenda, My Kind-a Town

Wakenda wasn’t much of a town. It was officially classified as a village but it was little more than a collection of buildings. In its heyday, we had about 50 houses, a grocery store, Don’s garage, one café, three churches, two grain elevators, the railroad tracks and a population of 150 if you counted the dogs and cats.

We didn’t have a building taller than two stories unless you counted the steeple on the Church. I know that there are towns in this world that have a fancy little hut on every corner where you can get the best mocha-choca-lotta-whata coffee that ten dollars can buy. Other towns have canyons of giant skyscrapers so tall the sunshine never touches the faces of the people on its crowded streets. There are Space Needles, Gateway Arches, buildings that look like castles or pyramids. Some places might have serene lakeside views, warm seaside beaches, or panoramic mountain vistas. You can have all of these things in your town though and it will only succeed in making it…a bigger town. Wakenda had none of these and yet, I now realize, it had so much more.

Because it’s not always about how tall the buildings are, how perfect the climate is, or even how many stores you have where you can get the best in all the latest doo-dads. After all, the buildings and streets are only the bones that make the skeleton of a place. The heart and soul comes from the people who live there. Only they can create the magic that can take a town and transform it into something that you will forever call ‘Home’.

     For me Wakenda was that kind of place. It has always been and will always be ‘My Home’. I belonged to her and she belonged to me. I knew her streets. I knew her people. I knew every path, every field, and every bend in the tiny creek that surrounded her. I knew every heartbeat, every smell, every sound, and every breath of that place.

I’ve lived in many other houses in many other cities since those days of my youth. In cities where people believed that home is just a large house with a well-manicured yard. They live in a self-made solitary confinement behind tall fences that prevented them from getting to know anyone. They called themselves neighbors but they had no idea how to be neighborly. Wakenda taught me the meaning of home and it is much more than possessions and the appearance of wealth. You can only learn its true meaning by living in a place and not just surviving in it.

Yes, it was the people of Wakenda, all 150 of them that made it my home. You might have called us rednecks, hicks, bumpkins, hillbillies, clod hoppers, country boys, goat ropers, shit kickers, hayseeds, yokels, or good ole boys. Hell, we didn’t much care one way or the other. We were, brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren, lovers, husbands, mothers, fathers, neighbors… we were friends.

It’s true that my town didn’t have much to offer compared to those larger cities. There wasn’t a Mart…‘Wal’ or ‘K’ or any other letter of the alphabet. The one grocery store in town carried the necessities and if they didn’t have what you wanted, you probably really didn’t need it anyway. Whatever it was, if you just couldn’t get by without it or couldn’t make it by hand, would just have to wait for the monthly trip to the A & P in Carrollton.

We didn’t have a little hut for fancy coffee. The people of Wakenda didn’t drink fancy coffee, we drank Folgers. Fancy to my parents was cream and sugar. There were no cute little restaurants that served a little dab of ketchup on a sprig of alfalfa, called it fine dining, and charged a year’s salary for it. Hell, the closest you were ever going to get to fine dining was at the café when the waitress would ask “how’s the food” and someone would reply “just fine.”

There weren’t any gyms, saunas, spas or a public swimming pool. Fast food consisted of a bag of potato chips, a soda, or a candy bar. But who needs fast.

Wakenda had many things though that couldn’t be measured in dollars. It had silent streets lined with ancient oak and maple trees that towered high into a clear blue sky. There were bright sunny days of hunting or fishing with the people I called my friend since I was old enough to walk. I had snow filled winters of ice-skating, snowball fights, and holidays. I could stand on the bank of the frozen creek, on a deep winter’s day, with wild geese flying overhead, a clean white shroud of unbroken snow at my feet and the smell of wood smoke drifting gently on the silent breeze. The solitude shattered only by an occasional howl from a hunter’s dog in the woods across the creek, or the lonely caw of a flock of crows scratching for food in a harvested cornfield.

I could climb to the top of the hills that overlooked the town on a crisp autumn day and watch the sunrise turn the valley floor below me into a painter’s pallet of rich brown oaks, yellow birches and poplars, orange maples and sumacs, red dogwoods, and fiery gold cottonwoods. All set against a clear azure sky.

Wakenda was an unhurried, lazy, and silent place where old men sat on benches outside the store across from the grain elevator. They tipped their hats to everybody that passed by as if they had known them all their lives…because they probably had. They sat and complained about how hurried everyone in town seemed to be anymore and how that was the third car that came by in less than an hour.

I Owe You My Life

Nothing to do but hang out behind Frank’s

The store parking lot where we sat and drank

There was just me, Randy, Terry and Luke

How many can you drink before you puke

 

No money or jobs and the car is dead

Small town life can really mess with your head

Wondering if you really need that shit

‘Cause some Joker said you got to have it

 

You came along and showed me a new way

I had to make a choice to go or stay

Either leave now or probably die here

We can run away and just disappear

 

Comes a time when you have to make choices

I couldn’t be alone, lost in the voices

You became me; I knew you’d never leave

I had to have trust in you and believe

 

You chased out the demons and let me rest

Gave me your soul and pulled me from that mess

You gave me your heart and became my wife

I gave you my love, but owe you my life

The First Time

My hands were getting clammy

It was hard to take a breath

I know that you had to hear

My heart pounding in my chest

If you had any questions

God I’m glad you did not ask

I could not even whisper

Scared to death behind my mask

My body shivered fiercely

No way could we ever stop

Our minds spun out of control

As you slipped out of your top

Your skin was soft as feathers

I melted into your soul

My life was all in pieces

It was you that made me whole