Tag: writing

A Visit to the Doctor

On By Jerry BrothertonIn flash, Short Stories20 Comments

The lobby of the Mountain View Family Healthcare was clean and well lit. There was music playing in the background and a vase of brightly colored flowers sat on a small wood table just to the left of the entryway. The room was warm, inviting, and smelled a little like Magnolias; it reminded me more of a boutique than a doctor’s office. I smiled and thought what a nice touch. But I bet it cost them a pretty penny to keep fresh flowers here in the dead of winter in the middle of Montana.

At the counter, the receptionist, a very cute little blond of about twenty with a very large smile and a name tag that read Nancy asked, “How may I help you today?” Her voice was pleasant and it at least seemed to me that she genuinely cared about my welfare. I immediately decided that I liked her and I would make a point of telling Dr. Johansen so.

“Brotherton,” I replied. “10:00”

She quickly flashed her fingers across the keyboard in front of her and looked up to make eye contact with me, that huge smile still spread across her face. “Why yes, Jerry. It looks like we have all the information we need. Please have a seat and someone will be out in a moment.”

     Everybody is so friendly here. I thought.

After a bit of small talk with her, bordering on flirting, I turned and stepped through the archway and into the waiting room. Holy crap what the…, it looks like every sick person in town is in here. More than a dozen people nearly filled all the chairs along one wall. They stared into space, with oozing red eyes half closed from God knows what kind of diseases. They looked like some kind of zombies from a sci-fi channel horror movie. They had their hands stuffed with wadded up tissues and I could almost see the millions of germs flying around the room from all the coughing, sneezing, and hacking going on. A middle aged redheaded woman with too much makeup was struggling to keep a child on her lap. The kid was screaming and she looked like she was just too worn out to even care. In the corner under the television, several toddlers were playing with a small plastic box filled with toys. Small bubbles of mucus puffed from their noses as they breathed. They wiped their green slime onto everything in sight.

I was limited as to the seating arrangements but I managed to squeeze into a seat between an elderly man with an oxygen tank and a teenage boy with his left arm in a cast. It was as far away from the zombies as I could get and I figured these two were the least likely to be spreading influenza, or cholera, or the black plague. I sat there staring at my shoes and making a conscious effort not to breathe too deeply.

     What a giant waste of time, they could’ve just sent me an email with my results. I guess that would be too easy though. If they did that, they wouldn’t be able to bill the insurance for another office visit.

After what seemed like an eternity of reading ‘Field and Stream’, ‘National Geographic’, and ‘Clifford, The Big Red Dog’, all the while a constant exposure to a myriad of life threatening diseases that have no cure and could turn my mind into mush; a short, black haired nurse finally stuck her head through the doorway of the waiting room.

“Jerry,” she said in a lifeless tone not even bothering to look up from her clipboard.

     About freakin’ time.

“Here!” I said, so relieved to be rid of my germ-infested neighbors I nearly knocked over a table as I all but ran toward the door.

“Follow me please,” She said, still staring at the chart in her hands. She walked briskly down the brightly lit hallway and nodded her head toward an open door. “Please remove your shoes and step onto the scale.”

     I sure hope my feet don’t stink too bad.

“Okeydokey, are you having a good day?” I asked, trying to engage her in some friendly banter.

     What a real sour puss. Would it hurt you to smile once in a while?

She still hadn’t looked up from her clipboard and made no indication she’d heard me or was even willing to give a reply if she had.

     I could have three eyes and a horn coming out of the top of my head and I bet she wouldn’t even notice.

She quickly flipped the blocks across the scale and jotted a few notes on that precious chart of hers.

     265 pounds! What the hell… man this thing isn’t even close.

She moved the slide up and took a quick measurement of my height. “Five feet, nine inches,” she mumbled to her all-knowing clipboard.

     Well, at least she got that one right.

She led the way to another room farther down the hallway. Her white shoes made no noise on the brightly polished floor. My shoes however seemed to echo through the building like a tap dancing elephant on steroids, playing with a squeaky toy.

     I have to remember next time to wear tennis shoes.

She motioned with that damn clipboard of hers for me to have a seat on the edge of the examination table. She checked my heartbeat with a stethoscope that she’d obviously stored in the freezer. She proceeded to take my blood pressure, nearly squeezing my arm in half and jotted some more notes in that damn top-secret chart.

“Can you supply a urine sample?” she asked.

     Actually, I had to piss like a racehorse.

“I guess so,” I said, “but I just gave one last week. I’m only here for the results of my physical.” By now I’d given up all hope of trying to engage her in any type of friendly conversation.

“It’s just routine…nothing to worry about,” she said, finally looking up from her precious clipboard. “Please come this way.”

     Something smells a little fishy in the steak house, if you know what I mean.

“No problem.” I said.

     Sure, let’s just bleed me for some more money. Maybe they should put in one of those rides like at the carnival, you know, one of those that turn you upside down to shake the coins from your pockets. At least I could have a little fun while going broke. Maybe that way, they could afford to get a scale that actually worked.

I followed her down another hallway to a bathroom where she pulled a cup from the cabinet and opened a sliding door in the wall. “When you’re finished just place the cup in here and shut the door. Return to your room and the doctor will be there shortly.” She opened the door to leave but suddenly turned. “And you have a nice day, Mr. Brotherton.”

     Hey, maybe she’s not so bad after all.

I made my way back down the hallway and I heard a familiar voice drift out from a half opened doorway, “Please remove your shoes and step onto the scale.”

I laughed.

     I wonder how many more of those poor, three-horned creatures are going to be squeezed, prodded, and herded into their little stalls, with their information hidden from them on other little secret charts.

Marriage is Like a Football Team (Part 3)

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories9 Comments

A Man’s Guide to Relationships

My Five Rules of

Football and Marriage – Rule 3

Let’s start off by saying that I am not a licensed therapist or a professional counselor. My observations of my mother and father, who were married for over fifty years before my mother’s death and my own very happy marriage to the same woman for forty five plus years is my only source of expertise. I believe that I have learned some very valuable lesson in that time and feel it is my duty as a fellow man to pass these things on to whoever might benefit from it.

You’ve spent years preparing yourself for the day. You’ve trained, tried out for the team and have been selected. Now what? It turns out that when you were in school and your coach was teaching you the fundamentals of football, he wasn’t just teaching you football but was teaching you the things you needed for creating a lasting relationship. Who knew that coach ‘Earl the Squirrel’ was so damn smart?

Rule #3 – Stay Positive:

Constant negative press can hurt a team and a negative attitude toward a relationship can destroy it.

The problem with men in a lasting relationship is that we think that one of the greatest mysteries of the universe is what a woman really wants from it. There have been thousands of books and movies on the subject over the years. We believe that women are so complex and complicated that the only thing that will appease them is beyond our ability to give. We have been so brainwashed by the negative that we know that no matter what we try to do, it will be totally wrong.

It’s not really such a “great-unknown” mystery… women like change. Just like the offensive coordinator needs a variety of plays in his play book in order to keep the other team surprised, you need to give them variety. They crave it as badly as we desire consistency.

So the question is…if men hate change and women crave change…how will we ever get along?

 

Marriage is Like a Football Team (Part 1)

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories17 Comments

A Man’s Guide to Relationships

My Five Rules of

Football and Marriage – Rule 1

 

Let’s start off by saying that I am not a licensed therapist or a professional counselor. My observations of my mother and father, who were married for over fifty years before my mother’s death and my own very happy marriage to the same woman for forty plus years is my only source of expertise. I believe that I have learned some very valuable lesson in that time and feel it is my duty as a fellow man to pass these things on to whoever might benefit from it.

You spent years preparing yourself for the day. You trained, tried out for the team and was selected. Now what? It turns out that when you were in school and your coach was teaching you the fundamentals of football, he wasn’t just teaching you football but was teaching you the things you needed for creating a lasting relationship. Who knew that coach ‘Earl the Squirrel’ was so damn smart?

Rule #1

com·mit·ment: Responsibility, obligation, loyalty, devotion, dedication, allegiance, oath, pledge, or guarantee.

The first practice on that very first day you gave a promise to your coach, to your team, and to yourself, binding you to a course of action. Now here it is…how many years later and you would still lay down whatever you were doing and run to their aid if they needed you.

That same promise is what you gave to your partner. I know you’ve heard the speech a thousand times. You must be willing to give 110%…100% of the time, but it’s true. There are no free rides. It requires hard work and commitment.

Sure in the beginning everything was fresh, new, and exciting. You had brand new uniforms, new teammates, and new coaches. With so much to learn and so much to do, the anticipation of the unknown was enough to keep you stimulated.

It’s the same with a relationship. Exploring the wonderland of each other’s feelings, emotions and learning their reactions in the beginning was enough to keep the relationship moving forward. As my old coach was so fond of saying, “if you ain’t moving forward, you ain’t moving.”

Eventually though will come the dreaded ‘end of the honeymoon’. That’s the point when you know your partner so well that you can finish their sentences. Things begin to get tense and soon you’re feeling like you’re trapped in a rut and it will take something drastic to end the cycle. You wonder what went wrong. I mean, you react to your partner the same way today as you did when you first met them. Things worked well then so why not now. You were very happy and life was great. You haven’t changed a thing over the years so why is your relationship falling apart now?

Now is when you have to dig deep and draw on that commitment that you made to your partner. Live up to the promise that you would always do your best to not let them down. The same as if you were halfway through the season and had not won a game. You wouldn’t just give up. You’d buckle down, stick your nose to the grind stone, and try harder than ever. Doesn’t your relationship deserve the same effort?

The thing to remember is that anyone can have relationship problems whether it is with your spouse, lover, parent, or child. When asked about it, usually there are very few people that can explain what’s wrong with their relationship. They can, however, explain in great detail what has happened and who has done what to whom.

If you find yourself in a relationship that is less than satisfactory you need to be able to answer a few questions.

A: How did we get to where we are now?

A losing team or a bad relationship doesn’t just happen. They are born, fed, and nurtured into becoming what they are. To turn the season around or to fix a bad relationship you must first look at what role your performance has contributed to the problem. You must be prepared to accept the responsibility for your actions even those that were brought on unintentionally.

B: Do you want to put in the effort to repair your relationship?

No one wants to be, nor should they ever need to be, on a bad team. By no means am I trying to tell you that you should be chained to an unfulfilling, unsatisfactory, or outgrown relationship. That choice and that responsibility belong to you. But what I’m saying is that no season should be let go without giving it the best of your abilities to live up to your commitment. No relationship should be abandoned without putting forth your best effort. It’s not fair to assume it’s always the other person that’s at fault. But sometimes, even the best football team can fall apart if all the players just aren’t compatible. When that happens, someone usually ends up on the free agent list.

C: I’ve decided I really want this relationship to work. Where do I begin?

All relationships, like winning teams, grow through change; they are transformed from losers to winners through change. You can’t keep blaming the quarterback because he can’t complete a pass while being sacked. You can’t throw the pass for him. So you must do a better job of protecting him. You can’t keep blaming everyone else for your relationship problems. You must begin by changing yourself. You must practice, practice, practice…with the same level of commitment that you had on that very first day so many years ago.

To Be Continued…..

christmas is the day we miss not seeing the people we never cared about the other 364 days

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Monoku, Poetry8 Comments

Depression

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories24 Comments

The loss of a loved one can have a profound effect on all of us. Perhaps in ways that we can’t fully realize. At first it might be hard for us to accept the reality that the person is gone. That we will never again be able to hug them, laugh with them about the good ole days, or watch the love they have for their spouses, their children or grandchildren sparkle in their eyes as they spoke of them.

After realizing that they will no longer be one of the constants in our lives we might become angry. Mad at ourselves for not spending more time with them, especially in those final years. We will pray, we will cry, but eventually we will begin to accept death as the inevitable end to every life no matter how special or unique the person was to us.

Death is a certainty for everyone and everything. It’s important however to remember that although grieving is a normal process after a loved one’s death, those that have moved on ahead of us would wish that our sorrow be short lived. Their desire would be for us to live out our lives as planned. We must continue on as examples of the positive things that they left behind, and become who we were meant to become. We must embrace our grief in order to overcome it. Remember that grief for a loved one’s death is not a sign of weakness but a sign of the love that we hold for them.

Different people react to things in different ways. It takes some a bit longer than others to get over their grief so don’t feel inadequate or unstable if it takes you a while longer than others think it should. Though we may never understand exactly why things happen; we realize that they all happen for a specific reason. It may not seem like it now, but as time moves on, we know that the pain and hurt that we feel will subside. However, the memories of all the good things they meant to us will remain.

With the holiday season upon us and our emotions already stretched to their limits, I would like to remind everyone that sometimes the events that seem small to us may be just enough to push others beyond the breaking point. Although grief is something that we must embrace in order to move on, it’s only a short step from natural sorrow to depression. I thought it appropriate to share this list, of some of the signs of depression, so that we may be better prepared to help our loved ones, or ourselves, through what can be such an emotional time in our lives.

  • Feeling physically drained or emotionally out of control (extreme mood swings, feeling good one minute and sad the next)
  • Difficulty in eating, perhaps the thought of food might even make you ill
  • Increased susceptibility to illnesses
  • Feeling emotionally shut down
  • Difficulty in doing everyday tasks, can’t think clearly, or remember things
  • Crying continuously, or unable to control anger
  • Can’t cry at all
  • Drinking more than usual
  • Can’t sleep at night, taking frequent naps, or are constantly tired
  • Sigh a lot
  • Talk about death over and over or dwell on it every moment
  • Loss of interest in work, house, or physical appearance. Neglect of personal hygiene (don’t brush teeth, take regular baths, or wash hair very often)
  • Suffer from extreme loneliness
  • Have lots of guilt about things you did or didn’t do
  • Lack of interest in sex
  • Constantly criticizing yourself
  • Feels like there is a huge hole in your heart or something is missing
  • Relive and rehash scenes or conversations
  • See no reason to exist

Perhaps, it’s the last listed here, that we must be especially vigilant. Depression can sneak up on us without warning and sometimes, it can be very difficult to distinguish between it and normal adolescent behavior. We must remember, that no matter how bad it gets, no matter now desolate, lonely, sad, miserable, or lost we feel, it will get better. Every person who is born has a purpose. We may think that our life is worthless or we won’t be missed, but we’ll never know whose life we will touch, or the difference we might make in that person’s life. However, each of us will make a difference to someone.

You can see how easily it can be to confuse depression with so many things. The key is the length of time it takes to recover from an emotional trauma. If you feel that your grieving is lasting too long, seek the help of a therapist, minister, friend, or physician. It’s okay to seek help until you are better able to handle your grief. Never be ashamed at seeking professional help. Remember that each time you suffer a loss, large or small; it can trigger feelings that will bring back all the memories of all your other losses. Things like the loss of a pet, a house fire or even a bad grade on a homework assignment is enough to push us over the edge. You may not consciously think about them, but the feelings can still be there.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 tells us ‘To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; A time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; A time to morn and a time to dance. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; A time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; A time to keep silent, and a time to speak; A time to love and a time to hate; a time of war and a time of peace.’

Above all, I wish for every one of you a time of peace.

Merry Christmas to all.