March

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March

Named for the God of War but Loki is your nature. Each year you bring the prospect of spring yet your deceit hides that promise under your cloak of white. I should know better, but you understand how much I need to believe your promises.

Beware the ‘Ides of March’; Julius did not heed the warnings and you repaid his arrogance with the cold steel of betrayal.

Now you say that you are the master of time and will move the sun to bring me another hour of light. But you’ve only robbed from the beginning to repay the end.

Time

You silenced the calling out of children

Across empty lots and down twilight alleyways

You stole the summers of innocents

And the friends and lovers of forgotten days

 

Long ago, you teased me with your possibilities

Filled me with hope and fantasies

Then jerked away your promises

And left me with want and empty dreams

I’m not a bad person

I’m stuck at the red light on 4th street across from the shelter. I try not to stare at the men shivering in the afternoon rain. Instead, I think about my wife at home with the fragrance of happiness in her hair, my comfortable chair and how good my bed will feel even though its mattress refuses to grow accustomed to my body’s shape. I don’t want to think about these old men and their soup kitchen dinner, or the newspaper blankets that they’ll use to shelter them from the cold. I only think…I wish this damn light would change.

Pool Party

“Man, I swear it’s the hottest summer I’ve ever seen.” I tell Jimmie “This sidewalk feels like it’s burning right through the soles of my sandals.”

It hadn’t rained a drop in seven days and there still isn’t a single cloud in the sky. The heat waves shimmer up from the street in front of us. I give a little chuckled as I think about that scene I saw in a movie; the one where some old cowboys were walking across the desert with no water. Maybe it was one of those spaghetti westerns with Clint Eastwood or some John Wayne flick.

Jimmie responded by wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand, “Right on Man, I sure as hell could use a cold one.” He took of his t-shirt and rubbed down his hair and armpits with it, “and when the hell did they get a swimming pool at John’s place?  Last time I was at his apartment, the place looked like it was ready to collapse.”

“I don’t know man, he just said to come around back when we get there. Maybe he’s having a heat stroke or something but you how he is, always scheming up something.”

We hear Tin soldiers and Nixon’s coming from about a block away. The music gets a little louder every time one of the little trickles of hot breeze hits us in the face. I hear them laughing each time the music hit a low spot. I wonder how they could possibly be so happy in this miserable heat. As soon as he sees us John gives a big wave and yells, “Water’s cool and beer’s on ice.”

I look at the group and jab Jimmy on the arm. “See what I mean man,” and nod toward a couple of empty chairs. Everybody has their shoes off and their feet dangling in the water.  So Jimmie and I make a quick round of hugs, cheek kisses, hand daps and what’s up man, then I grab a Coors from the ice chest and snag one of the aluminum lawn chairs. The nylon straps on the seat are a little ragged but they hold as I plop down and let out a sigh.

The afternoon sun is still burning my neck but I can see the sun is pushing the shade of the maple trees across the yard. I kick off my sandals and stick my feet into the cool water of the blue plastic baby pool. John puts on a new album and we all let the music from ‘The Dark Side of the Moon’ flow through us.

The shade finally reaches us and it feels like the temperature drops fifteen degrees as it slides across the pool. I look around at the circle of friends, Kim, Alice, Debbie, John, Jimmie, Danny and Kate. I’m thinking that this feels like I might be in Heaven. Kim hands me a joint…I take a hit… now I know I am.

May 1st 1957

It was 51 degrees in Carrollton, Missouri when I took my first breath that began this incredible journey called life. Although I have no recollection of the first 4 years of it, so I can safely say that in my mind, my life started on one warm spring day…you know what, let’s save that for another time.

It just took a little bit of one finger typing into Google to easily bring me up to speed on those early years. It was 8.40 PM on Wednesday when doctor Everett L. Smith slapped me on the ass and proclaimed me a healthy baby boy. By that miracle of childbirth, I took my place in the world as the 7th son and the 14th child born to Arlie and Sylvia Brotherton. At least that’s the official information from my birth certificate, but there will be countless times over the course of the next twenty years or so that I will swear that I was adopted.

My Zodiac sign is Taurus (the bull headed), ruled by Venus (beauty and creativity). My mythical Animal is the (Rooster), my life Path is #1; supposedly that makes me a born leader who insists on making up my own mind and demanding freedom of thoughts and actions. My birth stone is emerald, my flower is the Lily of the Valley and my perfect match, January 7th, 1961.

According to the internet, my psychological profile says I am bound to think, study, reflect and develop inner wisdom. In a past life, sometime around 950AD, it seems that I might have been a judge in France. My strengths were the talent to understand ancient texts, magical abilities and perhaps I might have been a servant of the dark forces.

In this life though, to my family, I was merely the fourteenth competitor for the attention of my parents. To the rest of the world an ordinary baby boy, nothing more than just another name among the 279,640 children born on that day.