~ The Cattle Don’t Care…

Cowboys don’t know ‘bout pentameter beat
when their crooning to the cattle at night
As long as the rhythm is soft and slow
makes no difference if it’s sad or light

Don’t make no mind if it goes dum-di-dum
or if instead the rhythm is di-dum-di
Cows sure don’t care what some snooty dude thinks
is the proper way to write poetry

The herd doesn’t know the meaning of words
no use in fancying up what you say
To mean what you say and say what you mean
That has always been the true cowboy’s way

There’s no need for some expensive degree
just to lull all them cows to sleep at night
Cause humming a tune with no words at all
can keep them calm until the morning’s light

So don’t be afraid to write them a song
with whatever rhythm or rhyme you choose
It’s okay if others don’t understand
as long as the tune means something to you

Your Auto Warranty is About to Expire

For the last fifteen years I’ve gotten red in the face
I could scream bloody murder every time I get it
I can’t believe that our congress can’t pass a law
to throw these people in jail if they don’t quit it

I have tried many times to call someone about it
but it seems to be useless and to no avail
I’m talking bout how every day I get bombarded
with a never-ending supply of junk mail

These past few years there’s been one consolation
at least we will no longer have to kill a tree
because now with just a push of one tiny button
they can send their junk to a million people like me

So now I get texts and calls on my cell phone
People wanting to be my Facebook friend
So many fake e-mails, click baits and phishing
I guess there will never be and end

If I don’t act right now I will lose my chance
to get my auto warranty renewed today
My Social Security has been compromised
Give us your bank account and get this grant right away

Hey man I’ve just won the lottery
They’ll deposit into my account right quick
I’ve been asked to donate to some fake charity
So many times it’s enough to make me sick

Foreclosure scams, Identity theft,
Let me do your taxes for you
I’ve grown bald from pulling my hair out
I just don’t know what a person is to do

But I guess what amazes me the most
Is no matter how many times we are warned about it
There are people in the world so gullible
That they will still fall for all their shit

tidal wave…


a single dream might be the ripple that starts the tidal wave of change

Things That Get my Goat

Everyone has a story of their
favorite things to tell
but nobody likes to talk about the things
that make them mad as hell

So here are a few of the things
that really get me pissed
I know that you can probably
add a few things to this list

I hate weeds among my garden flowers
that have roots ten feet long
People who sing at the top of their voice
but don’t know the words to the song

Folks that take an hour just to tell me
something that could be said in two words
Groundhogs that live under the shed
the frickin neighbor’s cat that kills my birds

Standing in line at the grocery store while
someone goes back for an item they forgot
or waiting fifteen minutes for a price check
on something that they bought

The outrageous prices of milk, bread, gas and beer
the things any civilized person can’t live without
The smell of a wet dog after a walk in the rain
People talking on phones and think they have to shout

How bout the stupid dog that won’t stop barking
though there’s absolutely nothing to bark about
White cat hair on black clothes and I don’t own a cat
A new shirt ruined because a stain won’t come out

A tuft of hair that just refuses to stay in place
Socks that keep falling down to wrinkle under my toes
Road construction signs and no workers within sight
That wild white hair that keeps tickling my nose

Wasps, hornets, bees, spiders and snakes
that jump right out of nowhere it seems
Being woken up by the doorbell
Just as I get to the good part of the dream

A Mouse in the House

I walked into my closet last week
dressed in naught but socks and underwear
I bent over to pick up my boots
Surprise– a furry creature was there

So I yelped and jumped back a few steps
I’ll say he nearly scared me to death
I flung my right work boot at him
after I had finally caught my breath

Well I missed him by a country mile
and he quickly scampered out the door
That’s when I took aim with my left boot
it thumped and skidded across the floor

I chased it round and round the kitchen
by now I’d armed myself with a broom
I swiped at it Wayne Gretsky style
sent it flying to the dining room

By now the dog had joined in the chase
we were set to show this mouse his tomb
When he ran into my wife’s office
while she was in a meeting on Zoom

Somehow I managed a screeching halt
No view of my boxers or the mouse
But my angry wife has banished me
from playing mouse hockey in the house

As for the mouse I have not a clue
just where he disappeared to that day
I hope he went home and told his kids
it was too crazy for him to stay