It made no difference if it was a family vacation or headed to the grocery store, my mother would plan it out to the smallest detail, barking out instruction that would make any Drill Sergeant proud, while my dad checked the tires and looked under the hood. Seating arrangements created to resolve sibling conflict; snack strategically placed within her reach.
“Anyone need to go to the bathroom?”
“Everybody have their purses, money, comb?”
“Last chance because once we start moving, we aint stopping.”
After about fifteen minutes into the trip, “Shoot Arlie, I think I left the coffee pot on.”
Category: Short Stories
What’s Taking so Long…
A long time ago, just after people found out the world isn’t flat; we got our news from something called a newspaper. ‘The Carrollton Daily Democrat’ or ‘morning coffee rag’ as we called it, was printed on large sheets of paper, thrown on the back of a truck and hauled off to some poor ‘smo’ who would ride his bike through the freezing rain at the butt crack of dawn to toss it up onto the roof or into the neighbor’s yard. But sadly, as time progressed, we found ourselves unable to wait a few hours for our news of ‘world destruction’, ‘what stupid shit did Trump say today or ‘what’s J-Lo up to these days’. So we turned to technology to deliver us from our boredom.
Now I get my news a thousand times a day in 140 character bursts. I’m still just as confused as I was back then and now I don’t have anything to put in Tweeties cage.
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September 11th…
The 18th anniversary of the day our hearts became stone and we let the actions of a few, as horrific as they were, make us forget that we are America. A great nation built on the promise that all men are created equal. Our founding fathers had no need to say “all people regardless of race, sex, age, disability, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, or other protected characteristic”.
It’s time that we let love and peace replace hate and mistrust and adopt the motto of ‘The Great Ones’, Bill and Ted, “Be excellent to each other” and “Party on dudes!”
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Plan for the Future…
His cell phone has a hinge. He’s been driving the same minivan for 15 years. His dinner is water and a bologna sandwich. He has a twenty inch TV without cable. Every dime scrutinized, every penny saved. Never uses credit. Nothing wasted. He checks his savings and 401K every month. Each year he analyses his Social Security payout statement. His sacrifice will pay off in retirement. It’s going to be done right. Travel anywhere he wants, eat anything he pleases. He won’t be dependent on anyone. For his 64th birthday his doctor gave him a surprise gift of six months.
Clotheslines…
Old people complain nowadays about how social media takes away a person’s privacy. They say that nothing is sacred or secret anymore. It’s too easy for anybody to voice their opinions by simply touching their finger to the glass screens of their artificial lives. As my mother would always tell us, “You don’t air your dirty laundry in public.”
But back in the day, if I farted on one side of town, she knew about it before the smell had faded away. And what is less secret than having your underwear flapping around in the wind for everybody to see.
Jerry Brotherton 