Category: Non Fiction

1963, defining my place in the world…

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories4 Comments

1965 Jerry 2nd Grade1

“I have a dream” – Martin Luther King Jr.

“Ich bin ein Berliner” – John Kennedy

“The answer is blowing in the wind” – Peter, Paul and Mary

“Segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever” – George Wallace

“They have killed my husband. I have his brains in my hand” – Jacqueline Kennedy

“You don’t catch hell because you’re a Democrat or a Republican. You don’t catch hell because you’re a Mason or an Elk, and you sure don’t catch hell because you’re an American; you catch hell because you’re a black man” – Malcom X

“Mrs. Conway, I have to go to the bathroom” – Jerry Brotherton

Childproof caps…

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories14 Comments

So here’s the thing guys. Everybody knows by now that I’m an old geezer. I don’t try to hide it, in fact I use it to my advantage the best I can. But, I also have arthritis in my hands pretty bad along with several other afflictions that we won’t go into today. So I take what seems to be a semi-truck full of medications. Like all Americans, I have to purchase them at the cheapest place possible. That means Costco Home Delivery (your welcome Costco for the free publicity). My apologies to the local pharmacies but evil insurance makes me do it.

So where was I…oh yeah?

Because I buy my drugs online, they gave me the option to order them with regular screw on lids. Of course, being old and feeble, I chose yes. I assumed they realized that because I had arthritis it would be difficult for me to open the childproof lids. So I thanked them for their concern and left the website thinking how considerate they were for thinking of my well-being.

Well, my package arrived a few days later. A plastic bag sealed up tighter than an armored tank. After a search through various junk drawers to find a pair of scissors I managed to finally get the contents dumped onto the table. It appears that in the world of online medication the motto is, “why use one bottle when you can use three instead?” Yes, three bottles for every prescription and each one neatly sealed with a childproof cap. My immediate thought was that I had made an error in the ordering process. I’m old and that’s what happens to me a lot. But then, lo and behold, underneath the whole thing was another plastic bag filled with my screw on lids.

What am I to do I wondered. Then the answer hit me. I would enlist the help of the one person that I was sure could remove the caps with ease. So I asked the neighbors 5 year old daughter to give me a helping hand. Remember folks, if you have childproof caps, you better have a child around to get them open.

Let’s name him Jerry…

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories2 Comments

A whisper into my mother’s ear by my fifteen year old brother Lawrence ‘Dean’ and she proclaimed me Jerry Wayne Brotherton. Old English in origin; a diminutive form of Gerald (The Ruling Spear).

In 1941, 1.3 percent of the population held the prestigious name. But for some reason, with World War II came the nickname for German soldiers…Jerries. Starting a downward slide that nearly drove the name to extinction and it’s never recovered.

I was born 16 years after the name peaked in popularity. Setting the tone for what would become my life’s motto…a day late and a dollar short.

May 1st 1957

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories5 Comments

It was 51 degrees in Carrollton, Missouri when I took my first breath that began this incredible journey called life. Although I have no recollection of the first 4 years of it, so I can safely say that in my mind, my life started on one warm spring day…you know what, let’s save that for another time.

It just took a little bit of one finger typing into Google to easily bring me up to speed on those early years. It was 8.40 PM on Wednesday when doctor Everett L. Smith slapped me on the ass and proclaimed me a healthy baby boy. By that miracle of childbirth, I took my place in the world as the 7th son and the 14th child born to Arlie and Sylvia Brotherton. At least that’s the official information from my birth certificate, but there will be countless times over the course of the next twenty years or so that I will swear that I was adopted.

My Zodiac sign is Taurus (the bull headed), ruled by Venus (beauty and creativity). My mythical Animal is the (Rooster), my life Path is #1; supposedly that makes me a born leader who insists on making up my own mind and demanding freedom of thoughts and actions. My birth stone is emerald, my flower is the Lily of the Valley and my perfect match, January 7th, 1961.

According to the internet, my psychological profile says I am bound to think, study, reflect and develop inner wisdom. In a past life, sometime around 950AD, it seems that I might have been a judge in France. My strengths were the talent to understand ancient texts, magical abilities and perhaps I might have been a servant of the dark forces.

In this life though, to my family, I was merely the fourteenth competitor for the attention of my parents. To the rest of the world an ordinary baby boy, nothing more than just another name among the 279,640 children born on that day.

You’re Never Too Old to Learn

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Non Fiction, Short Stories7 Comments

With the onslaught of modern technology that gets thrown my way every day and being older than dirt myself, with four children, four grand-kids, a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law that turn their faces away and snicker to each other every time I attempt to make a phone call…I know a bit about this subject. So yes, you can teach an old dog new tricks.

That still doesn’t mean that he won’t stand there and stare at you like you’re the dumbest thing alive. He’s just like me. I know what you’re saying and I know I can hit CTR-ALT-whatever in the hell.  Thing is, I just don’t care enough to do it. It’s a whole lot easier for me to feign ignorance and have one of you young whippersnappers ‘show up’ the old man. So, you have to wonder, who was it that just got taught a lesson?