Young vs. Old

My son, over at mabrotherton.com seems to be obsessed with categorizing, stereotyping, and discriminating people based on which generation they fall into. GenX, GenY, Baby boomers, Me generation, millineals…Well I’ve got the answer for you son. You’re Young and I’m Old. That pretty much sums it up for me.

Let’s face it, if you can wake up in the morning and go pee without the 15 minute ritual of stretching, popping and cracking of every joint…you’re young. If you have to get into the shower and run hot water on your back before you can bend over enough to put on your underwear…you’re old.

If you give a shit about social issues…young

People shouldn’t be allowed on the streets after 6PM…old

If women in bikinis gets you excited…young

If women in bikinis makes you want to give them a lecture on skin cancer…old

Sex, as much as you can, anytime you can…young

Sex, what’s that?…old

If you think our current president is an ignorant, childish, sexist bully…well, I guess we have to agree on somethings.

Just another body behind the dumpster

Life had turned its back on Jason so many years ago that he no longer held a grudge. Though, if anyone had ever had a reason to give God the bird, it would have to be him.

He said he was married once; if you could call it that. It was more like a whirlwind of passion followed by months of hatred and torment. Eventually, the entire affair succumbed to the throes of mistrust and subsequent unfaithfulness. Of course, each one blamed the other and perhaps neither one was wrong.

After that, he tried to make a go of it, flitting from one job to another in search of the one thing that would make him happy. He moved around a lot. At first it was just from one place to another in the same city, then to different cities and finally different states. He told me that he was always looking for some place to fit in, but just never seemed to be able to adapt. He was always the outsider, the odd duck so to speak, and thus began his hatred of people. Maybe hatred is too strong a word for what Jason felt toward others. Perhaps it was more like disillusionment in his fellow man. It was hard for him to get past the ‘stupidity of the world’ as he called it.

Rain

A lot of people are like a soft summer rain. They blow into your life and everything is refreshing and exciting. But eventually the clouds move on and you are left wet and miserable.

Revenge of the Nerds

Oh orange man, don’t you understand that someday the ‘Nerd’ countries of the world will band together to put an end to your bullying. Do you even care that we turn our heads in shame every time you open your mouth to speak.

How many more languages must we learn to say, “Please forgive us, we were not paying attention while a child ran away with the gavel.”

Warriors of 1972

We called ourselves warriors. But we were just  another group of stale, complacent, and bored little boys who were too old to be kids but too young to be men. Stuck in a tiny town somewhere between nothing and nowhere while the rest of the world was in turmoil. We smoked Marlboros… holding the butt between our finger and thumb like James Dean, or just letting it dangle from our lips like Bogie.

We didn’t give a shit about anything beyond the next weekend; because in our minds we were invincible. We were brothers…we always had each other’s backs. We were afraid of nothing and nobody, especially when we were together. The place that we were together the most was a dimly lit, dirty, and damp hole in the wall that had the stink from decades of stale beer and cigarette smoke; a place known to us as ‘Shaky Dave’s Pool Hall’.

Shaky Dave’s was a place where five dollars would buy you a lot of camaraderie and twenty bucks could get you some companionship for the night.  But it was just about the only place in town where a boy growing up in the turmoil of the early seventies could learn some of the answers. Even if he didn’t know what the real questions were.

I learned a lot of important things at Shaky Dave’s. Things I thought I needed to know. Like how to cuss, smoke, and chew tobacco. There were a few things I learned about the opposite sex there too. We all knew that only one kind of girl would hang out at Shaky’s…and you definitely didn’t want to invite her home for dinner. These were girls who had developed a reputation of sending more than one high school boy off to face the world as a man.

The men who frequented Shaky Dave’s were hard men who’d been there and back again. Even though I wasn’t really sure where there was, I was at least smart enough to realize that it was a place I never wanted to visit. Honestly, I had doubts as to whether or not a few of them that had been there had ever made it all the way back.

These men had their own handshake that sometimes would last for five minutes, they talked in words we couldn’t understand and wagered an entire week’s salary on a single game. Sometimes, more money changed hands in that place on one day, than my dad made in a whole year. Now those men were real men, tough, mysterious and, in a way, exotic.

We played snooker, because that was the game real men played. We drank because they drank…We fought because they fought. We tried our best to be one of them. Because, that was our great expectation from life, to be one of those men… to someday leave childhood behind and be accepted into manhood. To be able to walk through those doors made of heavy wood, order a Jack Daniel’s and a Budweiser and step proudly up to the Snooker table, and claim our rightful place as men of ‘Shaky Dave’s’.