Category: Rhyming

~Jack and Jill…

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Poetry, Rhyming5 Comments


Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after

We all know
there’s more to go
about this well disaster
Jack got home
started to moan
went to see Doc McMaster

Well ole doc
looked at the clock
said the store’s open uptown
So he wrote
Jack out a note
Told him, “these will fix your crown”

Mom found out
when Jack went out
he was with that slut Jill Brown
Jack got home
mom wasn’t alone
she said son set your ass down

This man here
is preacher Greer
he has some questions for you
If you’ve been
playing again
there’s only one thing to do

Jack and Jill
stayed wed until
their fourteenth child was brand new
Jack was quick
got in his Buick
left Jill living in a shoe

The next time
a hill you climb
just make the right selection
If you go
you need to know
use some kind of protection

~ For Free…

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Poetry, Rhyming7 Comments

Only a dime a dozen for these broken dreams
a free wooden nickel with each pack of lies
a jar of hoodwinks, flimflams and befuzzles
a bucket of lost hope and a box of how time flies
a Brooklyn bridge, a few penniless thoughts
next to some wasted time and that mirror and smoke
some dirt-cheap hooks, lines and sinkers
a bunch of fake smiles and a couple pigs in a poke
some bamboozles and a few hornswoggles
a pile of ashes from some bridges I’ve burned
a sows ear, some silver thread and a gold needle
a silk purse filled with the lessons I never could learn

~ Feeling Okay…

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Poetry, Rhyming5 Comments

My blood pressure is up
cholesterol is too
I have a heart-beat that is quite erratic
My blood sugar reads high
LDL is too low
the scale says that my weight is still pathetic

My hearing is near gone
one eye is almost blind
my doctor informed me with a slight chortle
Well now Jerry, my friend
at least you are not dead
but remember that you are not immortal

So here’s another pill
if you take it you’ll feel
just a little bit more like you did before
But the best thing for you
would be to take a long walk
and leave all the ice cream and pie at the store

A Bird in the Tree

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Poetry, Rhyming7 Comments


Twas a bird in the tree across the street
staring at me from the uppermost limb
It seemed he was intently watching me
Perhaps as curious of me as I of him

I think he was squawking profanities
though I wasn’t sure of his tweets and hoots
It appeared that he might be the jealous sort
envious of me in my fur coat and warm boots

I’m pretty sure it was envy he felt
from the sad look I could see on his face
For he had naught but feathers to warm him
and no way to escape winter’s embrace

We both decided it was time to leave
as I could feel the day getting colder
I stood to leave and felt his parting gift
splatter across my new coat’s shoulder

Your Auto Warranty is About to Expire

On By Jerry BrothertonIn Poetry, Rhyming10 Comments

For the last fifteen years I’ve gotten red in the face
I could scream bloody murder every time I get it
I can’t believe that our congress can’t pass a law
to throw these people in jail if they don’t quit it

I have tried many times to call someone about it
but it seems to be useless and to no avail
I’m talking bout how every day I get bombarded
with a never-ending supply of junk mail

These past few years there’s been one consolation
at least we will no longer have to kill a tree
because now with just a push of one tiny button
they can send their junk to a million people like me

So now I get texts and calls on my cell phone
People wanting to be my Facebook friend
So many fake e-mails, click baits and phishing
I guess there will never be and end

If I don’t act right now I will lose my chance
to get my auto warranty renewed today
My Social Security has been compromised
Give us your bank account and get this grant right away

Hey man I’ve just won the lottery
They’ll deposit into my account right quick
I’ve been asked to donate to some fake charity
So many times it’s enough to make me sick

Foreclosure scams, Identity theft,
Let me do your taxes for you
I’ve grown bald from pulling my hair out
I just don’t know what a person is to do

But I guess what amazes me the most
Is no matter how many times we are warned about it
There are people in the world so gullible
That they will still fall for all their shit