We were so damned naive and innocent
for four years we ignored your warning call
that you just might be the apocalypse
coming here to put an end to us all

You started out as the flames of hellfire
burned brightly across the Australian land
destroying almost everything in sight
as we watched we still did not understand

There were so many other commotions
that seemed more important to us you see
We had Jen and Brad, Harry and Meghan
Brexit and the tragic death of Kobe

As congress took their one glorious chance
each moment had us glued to our smart phones
As they impeached the unimpeachable
but Republicans kept him on the throne

Then we heard about that Chinese flu thing
They said nearly everyone was dying
But our potentates were pounding their chests
and telling us that they were just lying

Said it was no more than the common flu
don’t worry cause they have the greatest plan
Just refrain from drinking Carona beer
buy up all the toilet paper you can

The Democrats gave the world 31 candidates
telling us about their own kind of plan
As it turned out it was all just for show
because the DNC already picked their man

Who better to defeat an old white dude
than somebody who’s exactly the same
Except this time we’ll get all the black votes
if we just drop Barak Obama’s name

So as the best of all the candidates
Slowly made their way back into the past
It was hard to tell who anyone was
By now we were all told to wear a mask

But then they came out and said don’t wear it
Because it just won’t do you any good
Then they changed their mind for the eighteenth time
And said each one of us probably should

That’s about the time we lost interest
In the same old stuff showing on the screen
So they all searched around for other news
That could put us in panic mode again

Next was asteroids that barely missed us
Wild murder hornets that could wipe us out
Protests and riots on almost street corner
Pleading for equality with each shout

All the sand from the Sahara Desert
is going to blow all across our land
The economy is sinking too fast
We’re in a Great Depression once again

So only half the year has come and gone
We’re getting ready to start something new
They’ll double up the panic this time
Because now we have Covid and Swine Flu

Remember the November elections
That might be the greatest danger of all
It could very well spell the end for us
Only one chance to grasp the final straw

Now I’m not telling you who to vote for
though the answer is very clear to some
If the orange skies of sunset fade in 2020
We just might have a chance to survive in 2021

There once was two old feeble white men you see
Mr. President is who they wanted to be
But they were both so old
their brains had turned to mold
and they couldn’t remember for what country

So when they started their election campaign
We could see that they only had half a brain
When we go to the booth
while searching for some truth
we’ll find that both men are exactly the same

So now we are scratching our heads don’t you know
trying to decide which one of them should go
no difference to me
as to which it will be
I guess it’s eenie, meenie, minie or mo

When I was a lad and turned on the TV
was shows like Creature Feature that frighten me
Vampires, mummies, aliens, werewolfs and ghosts
were the monsters that always scared me the most

But these days it’s the news that keeps me awake
cause sometimes it’s hard to tell the real from fake
My smart phone’s bombarded by these horrific things
monster that used to only live in my dreams

Twenty four hours a day these nightmares grow strong
and with each passing second my newsfeed is on
saying there’s no escape from what’s here today
Each one of us is surely going to pay

Those mutated creatures that we used to see
we laugh at them now for being so cheesy
I long for those days and the movies of old
we killed the monsters by giving them a cold

Today’s monsters are quite another topic
quite hard to see, being so microscopic
We can’t kill them off with an atomic bomb
like they did in all them old movies long gone

I know it’s something we don’t like to discuss
because now it’s the germs that are killing us
so how will we defeat these creature you ask
the answer’s still simple, just wear your damned mask